A Man’s Common Questions

Reaching into the hearts of many men, I find their confusion is immense. Many are searching. Not sure where their happiness on this earth lies. Late last year, I recollect speaking with one man on the phone – accomplished in the martial arts – “Father I do not know who I am anymore….” You can only make it so long in life trying to reach one goal after another. The real questions of a man’s identity catch up with most men at one time or another. And so they ask three fundamental questions: Who am I? What am I made for? And how do I get there? These are most common because they touch what his closest to a man’s thoughts, heart, and source of happiness. This first question concerns: His identity, the second: his Mission; and third: his Journey. These are all related; hard to divide them.

As I see it, [1] every man seeks his Identity, which he wants to be anchored and secure in. [2] He wants his summons to a Mission, because he desires to know what he is made for and yearns to accomplish it. [3] And he needs to know the Journey he must take, in order to move in the direction he is supposed to go. Okay, so how does one actualize all of this? What are the steps?

Seems to me, we have to look at the heart of a man to find the answers, particularly in the beginning. The “heart” is at our core—just look at the Scriptures. It moves us, stirs us, brings out the hero in us. Doesn’t it seem right that the Creator would format our nature with inner drives to help us reach the ends for which we were designed? Seems if men do not connect with this fundamental part of them—the heart—they miss out in becoming the integrated man they should be; and well, they also lose out with achieving real happiness and the genuine bonding they were meant to experience. Otherwise, life becomes a series of goals, a set of laws, a litany of relationships….

Beloved Son is Basis for all Other Identities

We have put allot of time into the Journey of the Son. And there is reason for that. It is the basis for our further journeys, as if we were to stack them one upon the other. We move from the Beloved Son to the Loyal Brother, to the Vital Man, to the Devoted Husband, to the Strong Father, and finally, to the Veteran Sage. Sonship stands as foundational for all the others. It is the cornerstone of a man’s identity and growth. A beloved son makes a loyal brother, a beloved son and brother make a good man. And so on we stack these identities, adding each one upon the other as we move on to the identity of a husband, a father, and a sage.

Given my pastoral experience, the problems or struggles a man faces in any of these latter stages usually points back to an issue in childhood; that is, to a gap or wound in sonship. Thus, to revive or heal the son in every man is to strengthen him in each successive identity. It is easy to imagine that a wounded son is going to make a wounded man and father. And so to face one’s journey of sonship, to accept it, to put it on the path to healing, and to lift it up to God, will make any man a better man, father, husband, brother, etc.

That process of facing that journey of sonship can be complex. There are many facets of doing this…. I will be bringing some up. How start? Be still long enough to listen to your heart, wait upon God to speak, and you will be amazed at what he reveals.